Don't try to change your kids; change yourself- Praising good behaviour helps kids forget their nasty behaviour.-Nov 14, 2010,

Don't try to change your kids; change yourself

Pallavee Dhaundiyal Panthry, Nov 14, 2010, 04.45am IST

(KIDS IMITATES. DON'T TRY TO CHANGE THEM,CHANGE YOURSELF,THEY'LL IMITATE.I BELIEVED IN THIS THEORY.AND TRIED IT ALSO WHENEVER I FELT IT NEEDED.IT GIVES RESULTS!!!....VIBHA)

My four-year old son has become aggressive. My two-year old daughter is a fussy eater. My son argues. My daughter cries till she vomits when her demand is not fulfilled. My kids completely omit words like 'please', 'sorry' and 'thank you' from their vocabularies. Such complaints coming from parents of kids between two and five year-old have become very common nowadays. Talk to any counsellor or a pschycologist, he/she will ask parents to be patient and advice parents to tackle kids with love and warmth. Kids learn from the environment they live in and around them; it's all about upbringing. "Kids imitate. Do not try to change your kids; change yourself and the atmosphere they live in. Some parents say their child loves to eat junk food out; from where the kid got the taste, parents should ask themselves", said Kamakshi Vashist, a pshycologist. Now how to curb unpleasant and unhealthy behaviours? Though, at times parents say that despite their best efforts to set a good example, kids develop various unlikable habits, which are some times annoying and some times unhygienic also. Experts advise some strategies to get rid of bad habits and ill-mannered behaviour.

Be Positive: Parents must always encourage their kids for their positive behaviour. Praising good behaviour helps kids forget their nasty behaviour. "Kids are smarter than us. The moment you say 'no' to something, kids will repeat the same action, so learn to ignore. Notice their good deeds and comment, so that kids feel happy and try to do the same things again", said Suchindra Sachdeva, a homeopathic doctor. Parents must have a hopeful attitude to help their child feel self-fulfilled.

Be Patient: Parental anger invokes more nasty behaviour in kids, so deal with them with a lot of warmth. Especially, with the age group between two and five, parents should behave gently. Kids till age three do not understand what's good and bad for them, so telling them something is good for nothing. But kids in the age group of two to five are quite sensitive, so they need to be tackled with love, care and encouragement.

Set good examples: It's always good to reinforce good behaviour. Minimise on shouting, crying, arguing, fighting and complaining in front of kids. Parents must understand that children pick up their attitudes. So always be nice and well mannered in front of them. The more love and kindness you give to them, the more you receive from them. Child behavioural problems can be reduced by loving your child as much as possible rather than getting angry on them or hitting them. After an insulting situation is over, you must sit with the kids and discuss the reason for his bad behaviour. Allow your child to express; and then counsel him so that he doesn't repeat the same thing again. Parents must consult the people who know their kid well including teachers and family members. Working together can help bringing out the good in a child. Besides, there are many parent support groups on web these days; joining them will unquestionably help parents to comprehend kids better and get rid of the problems they face in dealing with their kids.